My Survival Guide: One Kid to Two
- Taylor Shipley
- Mar 18
- 4 min read
Here you will find zero helpful advice and only stories to make you feel less crazy or atleast crazy and not alone.
03.23.20 (she is almost a whole hand 5)
After a little nicu stay and her dad being sent home without us (thank you COVID) we got to bring our girl home. I was a zombie and postpartum is a (cuss word). I don't think I peed without a peri bottle for a month. (If you want an epidural, go you, wait as long as you can so your lady cave doesn't resent you so much after delivery).
Routine. Routine. Routine.
I was a freaking monster about this kid's routine, down to the second. Eat, Awake, Sleep (Zero Fun Sir). The house was tidy, my husband was alive and probably outside, and I watched every season of Chicago PD with the biggest bucket of animal crackers I could find or order from amazon because we were scared to go anywhere in 2020. When the baby was five months pregnant, I peed on a stick. I wasn't sure if I sould laugh or cry.
Insert Girl Number Two!! 05.04.21
She came in like a wreckin’ ball and hasn’t looked back, her dad almost missed her arrival.
Let me just start by saying, I know some who loved the 1 to 2 transition so if that is you, hats off to you my friend and check your email cause I may need you to write an entry.
This was the hardest part for me. I had a terrible time going from a routine and orginization to trying to figure out which pacifier when to what kid. Looking back I wish I could have told myself to just let it go, but I also wish I would have told myself that 30 min ago soo.. win some, lose some.
A friend of a friend gave a friend some advise and I think that's what I held on to the most, that's what I tell myself anyway because it was truly a "do whatever you can to keep everyone alive" season. She said, "When everyone is having a meltdown, make sure everyone is safe and tend to the toddler. They’re more likely to remember these moments than your infant.”
While writing this I keep remember how small my first one was when I brought her sister home. It’s crazy how those/these days seem so long but the years fly by.
Things I Struggled With + How I Adjusted
Bedtime Routine; I would get baby situated and safe to start big sister’s bedtime. Most of the time that meant laying her down in her bassinet and shutting doors because she would eventually start crying. I am sure there were much better ways to do this but I did what worked for me with a 13 month old and a newborn. When it became time for little sister to go down first I tried really hard to let her help me. Most of the time it was just a total crap shoot, okay all the time but that’s something I just cried through.
Bath time; I felt I was pretty brave with the two of them being so little, bath time was the exception.
I had one of those bouncy seats (the cheap ones made with the metal frame and the seat that came off so you could wash it), that was my GAME CHANGER. It was easy to move with one hand because most of the time that’s all I had. I will link it here! https://a.co/d/ayge86k
Nursing/Pumping; I mostly pumped with my first two kids due to NICU/hospital stays and tongue ties. It was really important to me to include my oldest as much as I possibly could in the care of little sister. When I pumped I was usually holding someone and sitting right beside the other. When I was able to nurse I held them both. It wasn’t always the most comfortable but it worked. I used the boppy pillow a lot and the one they recalled. I’ll link them both here if I can, as well as my hands free pumping bra.
Sitting down; Sounds funny but something that helped me a lot was setting in the floor. If I sat in the floor the chances of someone falling off the couch went down to almost zero.
Holding them both; I wore the baby in a wrap that also gave me room to hold big sister. I’ll link it here. I still use it today! https://a.co/d/10Na8ER
Mom Guilt
The guilt will always be there in some form or another. Just try and remeber that all of you are learning and it's okay if it takes you a second to feel like you're not always creating a dumpster fire. Merely Surviving is thriving. It does not make you a bad mother or person if you cry and wish it wasn't so hard. It does not make you any less grateful if you silently wish for a moment alone. You do the best you can and that is going to look diffent from day to day and that is okay. Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions of just want/need to chat about all things motherhood and/or the transition from 1 to 2. You're doing a great job, mama. Hang in there, we are all just Merely Surviving it.
Due in September 2022, Baby Number 3!
We will talk next week about my final baby and where the chaos is today!
I am so glad you're here, you're doing a great job.
-ts
*I would love to hear your thoughts and if you feel inclined to write an entry for us here we would be more than happy to have you, email us merelysurvivingmotherhood@gmail.com
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